Because I decided to apply to my number one college early decision, my application was due last week. The hardest part wasn’t the application itself; it was mustering the courage to click “submit.”

Eventually, of course, I did, and an unexpected wave of mixed emotions followed. I was happy and relieved that the application was off, but the idea of my college future being completely out of my hands at that point left me feeling a bit helpless.

Over the next four weeks, until I hear back, the best thing I can do is not think about the pending decision. The more I dwell on it, the more anxious I will become, and that is a useless way to spend my time. I have plenty of things to keep me occupied here in high school — not to mention all the regular decision applications I still have to finish in case things don’t work out.

But I can’t help but take a moment now, for your sake if nothing else, to dwell on the moments leading up to me clicking that submit button.

The last week leading up to my early decision deadline was eventful. I had finished my common application much earlier, but it never seemed quite finished, and that was a source of much frustration for me … until I actually clicked submit.

I got as close as putting my computer mouse over the submit button at least three separate times before the encroaching deadline three days away finally pushed me over the edge (I had heard that prior to a due date, the common application website often becomes very slow due to surges in the site’s traffic).

The realization that I came to — and the reason why I was finally comfortable clicking submit — was that there will always be something more to add, something more to revise. It is, after all, an infuriatingly impossible task to sum up 18 years of life in a few meager pages. But at some point, the changes you focus on are insignificant in the grand scheme of your application. And at this point you need to click submit and move on with your life!

But pushing submit wasn’t the end quite yet. I still had to follow up with the school to make sure they had received everything they needed: score reports, school reports, transcripts, letters of recommendation, the common application and their supplemental materials.

Having confirmed that my application had all these necessary components, the only thing left to do now is waiting in anticipation for December 15th, my collegiate judgment day. Wish me luck! And good luck to those of you who also applied early this year.