Sample Essay (Score = 5)
Scoring Explanation
This essay takes a position in favor of extending high school and offers a broad context for discussion by situating high school effort within a larger society that values excellence and high achievement (In a society that constantly tells it's youth they must have the highest pay check and newest car to be happy, why wouldn't this be the case?).
The essay demonstrates recognition of complexity with discussion of the complications of the issue in the fourth paragraph. First, the writer establishes that students never have enough time, then anticipates the stereotype of the lazy teenager who "sleeps too much," then attempts to solve the acknowledged complication that "too much 'vegging' could be a problem." The essay thus demonstrates an ability to treat the complexity of the issue without undermining the essay's position or logic.
Development of ideas is specific and logical. The essay moves between general ideas (Schools are always adding new and interesting courses, but for many, like the college bound student, there just isn't the time) and specific examples (Though an arts and crafts class might sound like fun, something like AP Music Theory would probably look better on a transcript). Moreover, some ideas are developed fully as the writer draws critical conclusions from the discussion (Fifteen years old seems to early to start making "career" choices over things that wold be fun).
The essay has a simple structural organization, but generally demonstrates logical progression of ideas, especially through the second and fourth paragraphs. Transitions between ideas are well crafted both between paragraphs (But it happens and it causes stress. . . . Teenagers in the country have an ever growing load of stress being placed upon them) and within paragraphs to make logical connections between ideas.
Language use in the essay is generally clear, although misspellings of homophones (its/it's, our/are) are distracting. Some incorrect punctuation is also distracting, but the mistakes do not impede understanding. Some precise vocabulary (daunting, fleeting, generation) and a variety of sentence constructions are used effectively throughout the essay.